September♥

Its September now.. Ending of 2010.. Time flies.. I felt that i wasted the whole year.. I did nothing good for myself for the damn 9 months.. All i did is just lepak around and waste money.. Im bloody useless.. Before this i always say that my dad was useless,but now i realise me myself is just the same.. I wanna make a change,but where do i start? and how do i start? I have no idea.. awwww.. confuse..

Im better when im loving myself rather than suffering when im loving you♥

Who's that girl?♥

Recently i met someone.. quite unique,quite special in lots a way.. She's funny,outgoin,cheerful,DDY xD, and lots more..haha xD.. I kinda felt some chemistry between us.. Its like some connection.. Its kinda hard to describe.. Well who know's? maybe God wanted me to meet her? haha.. I hope so? heees.. Well hopefully i get to meet her soon,then we shall know in the future whether she's the right one or what.. Dont wanna put too much hope on it.. Cause im scared.. Anyways im happy =) hees God Bless♥

Nigel Lee Soon Phin♥

Its kinda harsh for me cause my Blood Brother went to china yesterday.. He's goin there for quite a long time.. till end of this year maybe.. We had a farewell for him the day before he went off.. Im really sad cause he had leave us.. We spend almost everytime together.. We had our up's and down's together.. He was the best brother that i ever had and will have.. He always was the first bro to help me when im in trouble.. I hope he's okay there.. Hope he will take good care of himself.. Hopefully he will come back soon.. Take care Bro Nigel.. Take care.. I love you bro.. thanks for everything.. Cheers =) God Bless You.. Blood Brothers Forever♥

Im done with her xD

Good news..after talking to her face to face yesterday..I felt something different about her..and the feeling started to go off.. haha.. im happy with it.. Why should i suffer for the person who does't care.. right? totally.. Well she's not that perfect after all.. Thanks God for giving me a new life.. and im glad for everything God gave me.. God know whats best for me.. She's totally outta my life.. wooohooo .. Newborn Cheedi/Rashidi.. hees.. God Bless♥

Life is simple♥

Well life is simple.. If we win,we win.. If we lose,we lose.. thats all.. Dont need to add bullshit into it to make it complicated.. As for you, If you are not mine, then you are not.. You are outta my life.. Im gonna get rid of you from my mind.. I will wait till the right one comes.. =)

Me Without You♥

In all my dreams
I never imagined me without you.
I wandered through my life
and I would always see you.
I counted on your timing
your smile
you caught my soul
and found me off guard.
Must you still lean on my soul?
. Pull my insides
'til I lose all control?
and then...
take what becomes a prize to me
and leave me so alone?

Such an expense I paid
finding me without you.
I am off balance
I can hardly breath.
I never included the outcome
of your leaving...
leaving me without you.
I am a broken container.
I bare no excuse.
I cannot stand on my feet
nor hide my despair.
I am the tear in my own eye.
nowhere to start again
no step to begin.
The smell of emptiness
is a smell I cannot bare
a room so vacant.
I loath myself
that I should fall apart so.
As if you were the only person
to verify my breathing
the only cure
to my lapses of continuity
Every part of me
has taken a separate direction.
I awake in the night
alone and empty.

There is nothing more alone
than to wake in the middle of the night
no one to reach out for
no comfort to find.

I am afraid that I will wake
and there will be
nothing left of me.
A collection of clutter
or a speck in your eye
marooned
an after thought.
Reflections that find me
so un-groomed.
Little squares of reason
tiles on the floor.
Ushered in are spokesmen
to declare
part of what I already know.
On every corner
there is sadness
we all know.
In every person
on every occasion
a dimmer glow.
Should it trivialize my ache?
In all my dreams
I never imagined
me...
without you.

28th April♥

You are too perfect to be mine,and im not good enough for you either.. I aint perfect,but i can amazes you..Give me a chance,i shall bring you happiness and the love that you never felt before..I swear upon my God and every Gods that exist,my love for you is purely true,that can never ever go away..I shall risk my life and soul to bet in this very complicated yet beautiful relation that we had..And i hope i could spend my life with you♥

26th April♥

Well recently i found someone quite special,and i falled for her..She told me that she likes me,but she wanna stay single..Cause her previous ex hurt her and fooled her..So she dont believe guys now..I wanna make a change about that..I will make her believe that not every guys are like that..Im gonna show her that im different =) But for now,imma keep everything to myself.. Loving her silently♥

Goodbye My Lover♥

Goodbye My Lover♥

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

If I Cant Have You♥

Don't know why I'm surviving every lonely day
When there's got to be no chance for me
My life would end and it doesn't matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time
If I turn away am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do
If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby
If I can't have you ah ah, I can't have you
I don't want nobody baby, if I can't have you ah ah

Can't let go and it doesn't matter how I try
I gave it all so easily to you my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do

23rd March♥

Hmm..i read her blog just now..i was down and sad after reading it..Her so called ex called her back,after leaving her for quite sometime now..Guess what she's loving it..I really wanted to advice her,to tell her about what is goin on in the real world..Come on,you wont have a bloody ending with a TB..I know i cant freaking judge you and force you to leave the tb..but im really sad to see you stepping into that path again..The same old road that made your heart broken..If the tb left you before,im sure she will leave you again.. haihh.. i cant do anything to help you.. im just sitting here seeing you moving to the wrong path again.. im hopeless and im useless.. im sorry..

Crying Inside♥

The way that I’m feeling is hard to describe
I feel lost and alone in this unbearable life
My emotions are twisted, my stomach in knots
I wish there was something to erase my thoughts
I feel so desperately clingy I feel so free of heart
If you could please just kiss me that would be a great place to start
I do not like the feeling of not knowing how you feel
I don’t like looking in your eyes and seeing all my fears
I really feel so empty searching for the light
Maybe if you could please turn it on tonight
My head is all clouded my eyes full of tears
I can’t hold on to this feeling for years
I hope that is passes, maybe merely a phase
I am ready to be out of this daze
I am going to try to fake my smile
Maybe that will last for a while
It you think you see a smile on my face
Look a little deeper you’ll see I’m out of place
Maybe someday soon the sun will shine
Even through the bad you are always mine.

Im sorry for being such a fool,the thing is that im scared of losing you♥
I'll be the greatest fan of your life♥Steph

20th March♥

Dont make a person fall for you if you know by heart youre not serious about it♥

I Asked God♥

I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked for an angel and he gave me you.
Stephanie Cheng you are my angel♥

19th March♥

Hmm..Im feeling kinda down this 2 days cause of her..She started to dont reply my text,dont text me,dont call me and so on..I had a feeling that she's already feeling bored of me..I hate this kind of being left alone kind of feeling..I dont know whats on her mind and what is she gonna do next..Im lost and dont know what to do..I dont wanna text her too much,i scared she will think that im annoying..Im confused !! arhgg!!

18th March♥

When i woke up today,i had a bad feeling about something because she dint text me or call me to wake me up(After that she told me her phone have no credit)..When i saw her text at msn,i was stone and tears starter to come out from my eyes..I knew this will happened,but i dont know its gonna happen so soon..Well she just keep on saying sorry sorry and sorry..Its not even her fault..Its me being a stupid dumbass starting to believe everything is real..This past 5days was the happiest 5days in my miserable life..I made lots of changes just for her.. I stop drinking,stop smoking,go home early,less goin to clubs,never lepak until 6 or 7am in the morning and so on..I wanna show her that she can trust me..hmm.. TIME PROVES EVERYTHING.. I will always be right here for her,no matter what happen,im still here.. ILY beee♥

You are to me♥

Nothing can describe, the way I feel for you♥
Your love is warm and precious♥
Your heart so pure and true♥
Heavens angels brought me♥
To knock upon your door♥
To give you all my love♥
To keep you wanting more♥
The special bond we share, will guide us on our way♥
To a perfect life were dreams come true♥
What more can I really say♥
We were brought together, never will we part♥
Your my special gift♥
Your my shining star♥
I'll love you unconditionally♥
With all my heart and soul♥
I'll never break your spirit♥
I'll always keep you whole♥

I Dont Wanna Fall For You =x

Im scared of falling for you..cause i scared of being hurt again..so i choosed not to see you..choosed not you text you so often..You have your life and you have a bf..I dont wanna spoil that..I do like you and i will always do..You once said im a flirter and a playboy..I will prove to you with time that im a loyal and caring kinda of guy..I admit that im a flirter,i flirt around just to make friends,not to tackle girls..hmm..awwww i hate this feeling..but i have to live with it although i dont like it.. and dont eat so much maggi!! IMY =)

05th March♥

Woke up quite early today..around 5am? lol..Played dota until 9.30am..then went out to infi to meet some friends then bought my breakfast.. awwww im freaking sick.. Fever?headache?coughing?flu? swt =.='' gonna die soon..

04 March♥

Its been awhile since i blogged..kinda lazy to blog due to the lazyness of my life style..Well Spm result is just around the corner,but i dont know whats the actual date cause they keep on changing it,it confused me..No worries for my result cause i know i did badly.. LOL xD Been doin nothing since before cny..Not working not studying..What to do.. this is the lifeless life after high school... haha xD

10 Feb

Wow.. its like a month since i blogged.. time flies.. been throught alot recently.. couple then break up,fights,met lots of new friends and etc..Life changed for me after form 5..Tried lots of new things,did lots of crazy things..Life is becoming more more exciting.. haha xD.. but still quite bored actually..what to do.. its life.. CNY is just around the corner,hopefully this brand new year can get lots and lots of ang pao.. and wont forget to win lots and lots of cash.. xD Chinese trade mark during cny.. Judi Judi Judi.. non stop man.. haha xD