Time Is Everything

Day by day,hours by hours,minutes by minutes,seconds by seconds passed..My heart is breaking into tiny little pieces,my shadows are fading away,and my body is getting weaker and weaker..Because whatever i do,i think,i dream is all about her..She's like already dissolved in my blood,running all over my body with the flow of the blood stream..Without her,im a dead and lifeless person..With no will,no hope and no soul..Because she is already the owner and the keeper of my heart..Only she can unlock the lock on my heart..Time is everything,i will show her and everyone else that im loyal to her only.. C<3D

hmm..well she's goin kl tomorrow..hope she will have a great time there..haihh.. i miss her.. but what can i do?i cannot do anything except write to express my feelings towards her in this blog and hope that she will read it..I just want her to know that i miss her very much..

Its getting harder and harder every single day that had passed..She keeps poping out of my mind every single second of my life..I just cant help it..Im addicted to her.. She is like my bulb and im like the light..Without a bulb,the light cannot light up..I keep thinking about her last post on her blog,i wonder who is the guy?im sure is not me..im really curious about who he is..haihh..life sucks..

i was sick fer quite couple of days,and i found back my wallet..hmm..i guess this is the end? she found her man,and thats not me.. Sadness and tears are my best friend fer now.. ttfn

11th of April

I planned to go to kl on 11th of april,saturday..To cheer fer jeremy goh,our vice president of leo club in the leo idol competition that was held at Sungai Wang Shopping Complex in kl..But my mum dont let me go cuz she dont trust me and worried about me going kl with frenz..Swt =.='' ! Nevermind that..I went to infi in the afternoon to meet up with some of my frenz,we played snooker and lepak there fer the whole day..Vicki (soon bin gf) suggested to go to seeshark?shishark? dunno whats the spelling..lolz .. So we (me,soon bin,his gf,pang leong and kevin toong gf) went to greentown around 7pm..Kevin toong gf drove us there(kevin toong was not there).. We went to kopitiam to have a drink cuz its too early to seeshark..Kevin toong gf started to tell her stories about she and kevin's problems..lols.. I felt pity fer her la,she treats kevin so good,but kevin treat her so bad..haihh.. Then suddenly i found out that i lost my freaking wallet! WTF.. I think i lost it in infi.. arhhg !!! i was farking moody that time cuz the photo of me and her is in the wallet that i lost.. haihh..i dont care about the freaking money or the mycard..i only care about the photo that we took at jusco,that was our first time goin out together.. I regret why dont i just stayed at home,and the wallet wont be lost..haihh .. sad la .. continue later.. :<

why do you have to treat me like this?if u dont like me,please do tell me..Let me go to hell..Im suffering like im in hell,worst than hell..Do you know how is that feeling is like? i will tell you how.. its like flames burning into my heart,millions of nails poked throught my heart..I really dont know what are you thinking right now.. I just feel like crying lo.. My life is already hard fer me,why loving you also have to be that hard? why do the problems always on me? why do i have so much problems that cant be solve? Did i done anything wrong fer the pass few lifes?why God treat me like this? why God are so unfair to me? Why ?

haihh..Its 12.07am when she last replied me, i tot she went to bed..But at 1.17am she replied 'sorry la..i was on the phone' ' with my fren' ..Its a guy.. its like wtf right? she said why la why? then i replied 'nothing ah,i know i have no damn rights to care right?' then she replied 'i dunno whats wrong with you lo..Always like that want'.. Obviously im jealous la? duhh?? deng! i have no farking mood right now lo.. I tot wanna have a good night sleep want.. But now,NO farking mood la..

hmm..as days passed,our friendship are getting colder and colder..I dont know whats on her mind,and she dont care whats on mine..You are such a heartbreaker..Why do i have to fall fer you?why? there are so many hot chicks out there,way more better than you,but why do u have gave me those feelings that i never felt before?Im totally addicted to you,im thinking about you all the time,at school,during recess or finished school,or even at home.. I missed you so much,i wanted to see you so badly..Its getting harder and harder fer me every second of my life..Hoping u were there fer me.. 'Love is pain,Pain is love'..Without pain there's no love,and with love there's pain..

hmm..when days passed,i realised that me and her are in different world..She's from a quite wealthy family..Her mummy,sister,and brothers are so caring towards her..Thats why they dont let her to have any contact with guys i guess.. If not she would talk to me that day in krave.. and me is from a normal so call family.. I dont know that in the future,me and her will have any chance being together..But i really want to tell her this,i Never Ever fell this feeling with any girls before when im with you.. I think im already falling fer you,im dead serious.. I dont know whether u will believe it or not but this poem is fer you..

Nothing Can Compare To 'You'

The gentle breeze of the air around me,
The sound of the ocean slowly rolling,
The beauty of the sunset,
The feel of the sand as I walk along a beach,
Can never compare to you.

The sweet smell of a rose,
The kiss of the snow as it falls to the ground,
The bite of the rain as if falls on me spinning in the street,
The love of my family and friends,
Can never compare to you.

Nothing in this world,
Can compare to the way I feel for you..
The way I feel when I'm with you,
Nothing can compare to tour embrace,
I would give everything... to feel... this love,
The love you once had for me.

On 4th april 2009,saturday.. I went out with my frenz to infi.. its max birthday.. There are 3 groups, lolz..the 1st group went to watched movie,the 2nd group went to kbox in jusco, and the 3rd group stay in infi fer snooker,and i was in the 3rd group.. I was quite moody that day,cuz i tot i will have a chance to go out with her to celebrate my belated birthday..But she cannot make it,so the plan was cancel and i was stuck in infi the whole day.. Then at night,i went to krave with alfie,mikaela and her fren from sweden maria.. I met her there,i was happy but sad also cuz i cant get a chance to talk to her..Her sis,brother in law,bro,and cousin were all there..I was so damn freaking moody,i fag and drank alot.. I never took my eyes off her,she was so beautiful,she's like my angel..I was there fer about 3 hours? and when i was walking towards the exit and going to leave, she finally came over and said 'Bye' to me.. The only word she said to me is only bye? haih.. i just want to talk to her fer a couple of minutes.. is that so hard? :'<

2nd of april 2009..

On 2nd of april 2009,thrusday..Guess what? its my birthday..Well this was the most Boring and Meaningless birthday of my whole freaking life..I actually passed my birthday in infi..but i won quite alot of snooker games that day..Nobody cares about it except Her..She called me at 12am sharp and wished me happy brithday and a mwahs..At that moment i fell like im in heaven..I missed her so much :< ..Life is already sucks fer me,all i wanted is just a nice and memorable birthday,thats all i wanted..Wtf is with all the people around me?Nobody understands me..Nobody! haih.. and the day passed by in a blink of an eye..