21st - 23rd Dec

I forgotten what did i did for the past 2 days.. lol.. i just know that when i reached home,straight went to bed.. then after i woke up,straight bathe and changed and went out again.. haha xD.. dont have the time to online.. what a life larh.. lol.. hmm.. today is the 4th day she's at japan.. honestly im missing her alot.. i felt that apart of me is gone.. well 4 more days she will be back to ipoh.. hehe =) Merry Xmas guys.. cheers =)

20th Dec

Today is sunday..nothing much to do.. slept all day at home.. lifeless betul.. she left to japan at around 8.30pm adyy.. sad case* i miss her.. watched chelsea game at 12am.. draw 1-1 .. wth.. what a boring day..

19th Dec

Well..dint slept for the whole night either..wait for my mum to woke up..wanted to ask her to go eat dim sum..but she lazy..lol.. so i called mcd delivery for breakfast..guess how much was the bill? (RM29.30) LOLs.. after breakfast around 11am.. went to bed.. haha xD .. woke up at around 8.30pm.. watch Liverpool vs Portsmouth 0-2.. haha xD.. Liverpool lost another game.. woootz ..then after that went to bathe and changed.. wait for ian to come and pick me up..after that went to pick up jiunli and apple tan..reached barroom around 12am..partyy till like 2.30am.. saw alot of buddies there..ipoh is so small.. lol.. reached home around 3am..[she went to kl dyy..leaving to japan on sunday night..awww =( ]

18th Dec

Well today slept till like 5.30pm..quite tired cause yesterday walk whole day in jusco..woke up lepak awhile then bathe and changed..went out for dinner with my family..cause today was my mum's bday..happy bday mum =) ..after dinner around 9.30pm..when to tung ku ting near my house there to meet up with ian and his mum..after that we when to tower regency to meet up with casandra,jiunli and moon.. casandra father's company got some event there..i bought a cheese cake for her..as a good bye present on her trip to japan..we stayed there till like 12am..then me and ian went to barroom,met up with pang liong and the gang..pang liong was so drunk just now..lol.. he drank like 5 glass of pure volka and some mixed.. took care of him awhile there..went home at around 2am..

17th Dec

Hmm..well i dint slept for the whole day..chatted with ian and wei yern till around 3.30am..then played Texas HoldEM Poker in facebook till around 8.30am..then bathe,changed and get ready for futsal..played with shas,ian,lai,wong and few more people..after futsal around 12pm..wong asked ian to fetch liyuan back to her house from apple's place..then reached home around 12.30pm..bathe again,changed and get ready to go to jusco..reached there,saw jiunli,wei yern,moon,and 2 more people..not quite know thier names..lol..Due to some problems..ian and jiunli dint watch movie..so we walk around jusco..then alvin came,we went to kopitiam behind infi there to yumcha..then reached home around 6pm..cheers =)

SPM is History xD

Heyy..I just finished my last spm paper(sport science) on the 16th dec..woootz.. Finally i finished the freaking exam..I felt like so free right now..haha xD.. Well have to find a job soon to cover up my living cost..Luckily im not been choosen to attend National Service..weeez xD..So for now im just chilling out enjoying the end of 2009,my last high school year.. cheers =)

hmm..im back?

Its been weeks since i blog..when im back.. I dunno why i just cant find the feeling to blog.. maybe everything in my life is goin the wrong way and i dont feel like talking about it? i really dont know.. hmm.. SPM (so called high school PhD) =.='' is just around the corner.. Everyone are studying,doin revision,reading and so on,but im still hanging around here do nothing..I dont know what should i do now.. damn.. life are so boring..

Merdeka countdown at Rums..Abit drunk... lolz (late upload cuz pc took for repairing)*

31st.. Its was a very memorable day.. lolz

No Fag No Life !!!

I Wish I Was Death*

Im lonely and moody..Why everything in my life is goin the wrong way.. Everything in my life is a problem that cant be solve.. I really dont know what i should do now or in the future.. I wanna fag and drink the hell out of me lo.. haiz.. i wish i was death.. I guess i did too many sins in my past life,now the god is punishing me for not being with the person i love and care the most,always lack of cash,lazy,suck at studies,problems with my family and every freaking thing that is goin on in my life.. My heart is broken and it will be broken forever.. *Rip Cheedi*

I really dunno what is she thinking..Why she always get angry about what im saying and what im doin? why everything she thinks is only about her,she dont care how i felt or what im thinking .. i really cant take it anymore lo .. every time i chat with her,she sure angry about something,i tried and tried to tham her,make her happy back,but non of it works,its just getting worst and worst.. Maybe im really not the one for you..im sick of sabar and tahan.. it makes me sad and moody lo.. haiz.. im sorry for all the anger i cause to you.. please forgive me ... goodbye.. take good care of yourself ..

Well last saturday i went to barroom because of my friends birthday..I met a girl there.. We chit chat,talk funny things,do crazy stuff,and got drunk.. She got drunk first la.. haha xD .. Then after that few of my friends follow me home to overnight.. Then i asked my friends fer her number.. So i called her that night around 4 something i guess,At first i just tot wanna disturb her from sleeping,cuz she's so drunk but when we started chating,we got along pretty quickly.. So the next day we also chat and chat and chat,then the next day also chat and chat and chat.. I knew her for 5 days now,i felt we had a special bond,she's like very special to me,she made me forget the past and look in the future.. She made me totally forgot about her! Maybe she's the one im looking for so long? I really dont know but i really hope so.. Im sick and tired of getting hurt and left alone,i wanna get rid of that feeling forever.. I really hope that we will have a good future together.. God bless me.. lolz

I tried everything to forget about her and let her go,but everything i do,doing or did are all useless..She pops out my mind every single day,I dream about her every time i sleep,Its getting harder and harder for me to live my life..I want to go away from here,go as far as i can,just to forget about her..Since the day i fall for her,i knew we had no future but i insisted to go on,because i really love her..i really do.. haizz

Its the weekends again.. just finished viewing her facebook and blog.. She's hurt,and i wonder who she almost loved.. That must be a very lucky guy.. I wanted to text her and ask her whether she's okay anot,but i scared she dont like.. Im worried about her,i dont want to see her sad or hurt.. I want to be by her side,no matter what happen still care about her,cheer her up,bring her laughter back.. But she dont wanna talk or reply my text, haizz ..

Well its the weekends again,cant think of anything better to do..Life is so darn boring..Countdown 8 days to the jpj test..Haven pratice driving for a week now..haha xD scared to fail la.. lolz .. hmm.. still cant get over her..She's always on my mind..well time is everything,maybe i need more time to let her go.. Hopefully i can let her go as soon as possible,suffering right here.. sobb

1st of August

Its august already,time passed so fast..Just like a blink of an eye its already summer.. Haha xD Have many plans in this month,many things have to be done..So have to be more hardworking dy.. Lols .. Gonna go for the jpj test on the 17th to get my P license for car,Gosh ! cant wait la .. haha xD
Im targeting before the holidays i will get my license,so wish me luck.. hehs .. Me and my bro's are planing to go genting again during the coming holidays.. Then the trial exam of SPM gonna be goin on after the holidays .. Just really cant wait till end of the month,so many things are goin on .. hahs xD

The End?

I have done alot of thinking and receiving alot of advise from other people.. I think is time to let go.. You never care about me and my feelings,you only care about your own feelings(sorry to say that)i tried everything to make you happy but all i did is just make you more angry..Maybe the problems is on me? or maybe the problems is on you.. I really dont know and you dont wanna tell me if i did wrong.you just keep quiet and stop replying my massage..That will not solve the problem but it will make everything worst.. I have tolerate so much,if i did anything wrong, i will say sorry and try to make it up to you,but in the other hand,when you did something wrong,you never did anything..You will just stop replying the massages..Love is really hurtful,especially the kind like you love her,but she does not love you back.. I cried inside of me every single day,i have changed to a person that have no more feelings because all my feelings,i gave it all to you..When i first saw you,you are such a wonderful girl,so pretty and perfect..I never knew that you will hurt me so deeply.. I really hope this relationship as friends still can be like last time,like when we first met..I dont ask for more,like want you to be my girlfriend,im not greedy and i will never force you too .. I just want to know that you are okay and happy day by day,i just want you to have a happy life.. I dont want to see you moody or sad.. I rather have my life shorten by 10 or 20 years to make you the happiest girl in the world for the rest of your life,its worth it.. I can see that i have been deleted from your memory,i guess i can no longer text or talk to you anymore.. I regret for everything that i did and said wrong.. Im living my life and hoping one day you could forgive me.. Forgive me for the biggest mistake that i have done in my freaking life.. Take Care Dan <3

Its more than a month from we last text each other,i dont know what happen to her..I tried to text her,called her but nothing seems to get me through to talk to her,i got so many things to tell her, but i dont have the chance to do it.. I did alot of thinking lately,i cant let go of her, its simply impossible to let her go.. But what can i do? if i keep texting her,she will change her number,i dont want that to happen.. So i decided to keep on living my life,she will always in my heart..

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Cheedi is Dead And Gone ...

Hmm.. I wonder who she scared to fall in love with? Must be a very perfect guy i guess? :<

There is someone im in love with..
Although i cant be with her now..
Im still in love with her.
I love the song -Kiss[Because I'm A Girl]
It made my tears came down too.. stupid right? hahs
Well i missed you every much..Hope i can see or meet you soon..

How to make me forget her?how? Can anyone please teach me? i fag and drank like hell.. I love her even much that before.. What is happening to me? I fucking sleep during the exams,i dint study or do my homeworks.. Im like living in hell right now.. I know she like another guy,and i know i will never be her's.. I really dont know what to do right now.. If i keep goin on like this,im sure gona fail my spm.. damn.. im speechless.. i miss her.. haih.. dead and gone ~

Time Is Everything

Day by day,hours by hours,minutes by minutes,seconds by seconds passed..My heart is breaking into tiny little pieces,my shadows are fading away,and my body is getting weaker and weaker..Because whatever i do,i think,i dream is all about her..She's like already dissolved in my blood,running all over my body with the flow of the blood stream..Without her,im a dead and lifeless person..With no will,no hope and no soul..Because she is already the owner and the keeper of my heart..Only she can unlock the lock on my heart..Time is everything,i will show her and everyone else that im loyal to her only.. C<3D

hmm..well she's goin kl tomorrow..hope she will have a great time there..haihh.. i miss her.. but what can i do?i cannot do anything except write to express my feelings towards her in this blog and hope that she will read it..I just want her to know that i miss her very much..

Its getting harder and harder every single day that had passed..She keeps poping out of my mind every single second of my life..I just cant help it..Im addicted to her.. She is like my bulb and im like the light..Without a bulb,the light cannot light up..I keep thinking about her last post on her blog,i wonder who is the guy?im sure is not me..im really curious about who he is..haihh..life sucks..

i was sick fer quite couple of days,and i found back my wallet..hmm..i guess this is the end? she found her man,and thats not me.. Sadness and tears are my best friend fer now.. ttfn

11th of April

I planned to go to kl on 11th of april,saturday..To cheer fer jeremy goh,our vice president of leo club in the leo idol competition that was held at Sungai Wang Shopping Complex in kl..But my mum dont let me go cuz she dont trust me and worried about me going kl with frenz..Swt =.='' ! Nevermind that..I went to infi in the afternoon to meet up with some of my frenz,we played snooker and lepak there fer the whole day..Vicki (soon bin gf) suggested to go to seeshark?shishark? dunno whats the spelling..lolz .. So we (me,soon bin,his gf,pang leong and kevin toong gf) went to greentown around 7pm..Kevin toong gf drove us there(kevin toong was not there).. We went to kopitiam to have a drink cuz its too early to seeshark..Kevin toong gf started to tell her stories about she and kevin's problems..lols.. I felt pity fer her la,she treats kevin so good,but kevin treat her so bad..haihh.. Then suddenly i found out that i lost my freaking wallet! WTF.. I think i lost it in infi.. arhhg !!! i was farking moody that time cuz the photo of me and her is in the wallet that i lost.. haihh..i dont care about the freaking money or the mycard..i only care about the photo that we took at jusco,that was our first time goin out together.. I regret why dont i just stayed at home,and the wallet wont be lost..haihh .. sad la .. continue later.. :<

why do you have to treat me like this?if u dont like me,please do tell me..Let me go to hell..Im suffering like im in hell,worst than hell..Do you know how is that feeling is like? i will tell you how.. its like flames burning into my heart,millions of nails poked throught my heart..I really dont know what are you thinking right now.. I just feel like crying lo.. My life is already hard fer me,why loving you also have to be that hard? why do the problems always on me? why do i have so much problems that cant be solve? Did i done anything wrong fer the pass few lifes?why God treat me like this? why God are so unfair to me? Why ?

haihh..Its 12.07am when she last replied me, i tot she went to bed..But at 1.17am she replied 'sorry la..i was on the phone' ' with my fren' ..Its a guy.. its like wtf right? she said why la why? then i replied 'nothing ah,i know i have no damn rights to care right?' then she replied 'i dunno whats wrong with you lo..Always like that want'.. Obviously im jealous la? duhh?? deng! i have no farking mood right now lo.. I tot wanna have a good night sleep want.. But now,NO farking mood la..

hmm..as days passed,our friendship are getting colder and colder..I dont know whats on her mind,and she dont care whats on mine..You are such a heartbreaker..Why do i have to fall fer you?why? there are so many hot chicks out there,way more better than you,but why do u have gave me those feelings that i never felt before?Im totally addicted to you,im thinking about you all the time,at school,during recess or finished school,or even at home.. I missed you so much,i wanted to see you so badly..Its getting harder and harder fer me every second of my life..Hoping u were there fer me.. 'Love is pain,Pain is love'..Without pain there's no love,and with love there's pain..

hmm..when days passed,i realised that me and her are in different world..She's from a quite wealthy family..Her mummy,sister,and brothers are so caring towards her..Thats why they dont let her to have any contact with guys i guess.. If not she would talk to me that day in krave.. and me is from a normal so call family.. I dont know that in the future,me and her will have any chance being together..But i really want to tell her this,i Never Ever fell this feeling with any girls before when im with you.. I think im already falling fer you,im dead serious.. I dont know whether u will believe it or not but this poem is fer you..

Nothing Can Compare To 'You'

The gentle breeze of the air around me,
The sound of the ocean slowly rolling,
The beauty of the sunset,
The feel of the sand as I walk along a beach,
Can never compare to you.

The sweet smell of a rose,
The kiss of the snow as it falls to the ground,
The bite of the rain as if falls on me spinning in the street,
The love of my family and friends,
Can never compare to you.

Nothing in this world,
Can compare to the way I feel for you..
The way I feel when I'm with you,
Nothing can compare to tour embrace,
I would give everything... to feel... this love,
The love you once had for me.

On 4th april 2009,saturday.. I went out with my frenz to infi.. its max birthday.. There are 3 groups, lolz..the 1st group went to watched movie,the 2nd group went to kbox in jusco, and the 3rd group stay in infi fer snooker,and i was in the 3rd group.. I was quite moody that day,cuz i tot i will have a chance to go out with her to celebrate my belated birthday..But she cannot make it,so the plan was cancel and i was stuck in infi the whole day.. Then at night,i went to krave with alfie,mikaela and her fren from sweden maria.. I met her there,i was happy but sad also cuz i cant get a chance to talk to her..Her sis,brother in law,bro,and cousin were all there..I was so damn freaking moody,i fag and drank alot.. I never took my eyes off her,she was so beautiful,she's like my angel..I was there fer about 3 hours? and when i was walking towards the exit and going to leave, she finally came over and said 'Bye' to me.. The only word she said to me is only bye? haih.. i just want to talk to her fer a couple of minutes.. is that so hard? :'<

2nd of april 2009..

On 2nd of april 2009,thrusday..Guess what? its my birthday..Well this was the most Boring and Meaningless birthday of my whole freaking life..I actually passed my birthday in infi..but i won quite alot of snooker games that day..Nobody cares about it except Her..She called me at 12am sharp and wished me happy brithday and a mwahs..At that moment i fell like im in heaven..I missed her so much :< ..Life is already sucks fer me,all i wanted is just a nice and memorable birthday,thats all i wanted..Wtf is with all the people around me?Nobody understands me..Nobody! haih.. and the day passed by in a blink of an eye..

I really dont know whats with her,always reply late,and now even didnt reply..haih :< I really want to know what is she thinking..Why i cant make her laught and smile like we used to be.. Why? Why must the most important person in my life treat me like this?

Its 2.08am dy,she still with her sis in krave..I care about her only dont want her to be out so late at night..But who i am to her la right? nobody.. I changed alot just because of her.. I stopped fagging,goin out late at night,and even almost never contact any other girls..But is this still not enuf fer her? I really want her to speak out her mind to me,tell me who i am to her.. I can, she is the most important person in my life..I hope to be her num one..

When things just got better,i argue with her..It was totally a misunderstanding,she said i replied late and she was moody at that time..But i didnt replied her late,but the msg sending was fail,and i dont know..So i waited and waited,i tot she didnt replied me,so i asked her..But she replied this 'I dont wanna talk to you anymore.Talking to you make me feel worst.' She dont know how deep she hurt me with those words..At that time,my heart is crying..Then we stopped texting fer a couple of hours..But when we start texting each other back,she treat me like very cold like that,replied all the msg not more than 5 words..Im really sad,really really sad..

What a day..

Thrusday was a freaking moody day fer me,haih :< Because she off her phone fer the whole day,
i was damn worried about her..My buddies said 'whats the big deal? one day didnt chat only mah' swt! i feel like punching them lo.. If a person thats really important to you guys,then he/she didnt on the phone fer the whole day and have no news about her being with anyone,will u guys be worried? duhhh ? ofcuz la worry..But at last around 9.30pm that night she texted me and said that she went out with her mummy and went fer a hair cut..At first i was very sad because she didnt inform me about anything..but at last i nothing dy,cuz i know she is fine..But the whole day i was damn worried about her cuz she told me once,she off her phone before fer a period of time cuz of moody and dont want to talk to anyone around her..I scared she will repeat it again,thats why i was damn worried..Well im glad everything is fine now,we are texting each other all the time :> i truthly miss her and i hope me and her could go out next week,because its my brithday.. hehs :>

end of a day..

well its 12.15am dy..time passed so fast,a day had passed..Tomorrow will be another new day,and i hope it will be a great day fer me..Just now i read some news about my horoscopes in the star newspaper..it written there,i will face alot of problems this few days,im worried about that,im a kind of person who believe in this kind of things..hahs xD .. i hope it wont bother my love one's..

what a lucky day..

Today was a very lucky day at school,everyday skip 'perhimpunan' .. LOLs .. But today the prefect name nicholas folow me until i go down from the classroom and from the toilet,wtf! I was damn freaking scared cuz this week was KZ duty week,he is the head of disciplinary teachers..I was scared cuz i cut my hair undercut style,behind was damn freaking long,and my hair still have abit of red colour.. When i reached the tapak perhimpunan, i hide behind my fren who was very tall, so he could block me from the teachers view.. Luckily today KZ was not there,and i escaped from the other teachers.. hahs xD .. Tomorrow will be another scary day for me i guess.. wish me luck.. lolz

hmm..finally..

hmm.. finally i found the time to blog.. Well holidays are over,school had already started,have to
be more serious with my studies now cuz im having my spm end of this year..Actually im not scared or worried about spm,but my parents are nagging me everyday to make me study,arghh !! its sucks seriously..What to do right?its life..